Semi-happy Mother’s Day

10 May 2010

It happened again

I wanted to call you up

I wanted your opinion about something …

Charlie Peacock, from the song “My Father’s Crown”

Yesterday was kind of rough as Mother’s Days go.  I managed breakfast in bed for my wife (cheese omelet, raspberry Danish, banana, juice) and a gift (a musical snow globe, which she really liked).  But I was pretty much dead to the world by about 10 a.m., and didn’t recover until this morning.  I was out of energy, had an odd sort of headache, and no interest in much of anything.  I basically stayed in my office, except to wrap some meat for the freezer and give myself a haircut (something I’d been putting off for too long).  Very strange, even given the brokenness I described in my last entry.

It wasn’t until late last night that it hit me what was really wrong: it was my first Mother’s Day without my mom.

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Periodic Pingback: iMonk is dead, long live iMonk!

9 May 2010

(Blogger’s note: Periodic Pingback is an occasional feature of mine, providing links to other stuff on the World Wide Internet Superhighwayweb that I’ve found too valuable to not pass on.  Do enjoy!)

Regular readers of this space (believe it or not, there are a few) will know of my admiration for the work and teachings of Michael Spencer, aka “the Internet Monk.”  (You can check out his website here.)  I didn’t always agree with him, but I usually did, and I found him to be a modern prophet of God, a Biblically-committed teacher willing to speak the truth regardless of how uncomfortable it was to the American church (or even to himself).  Such people are both rarer and more valuable than gold, IMNVHO (in my not-very-humble opinion).

Unfortunately — for us, not him — Michael went to Heaven on April 5 after a long bout with cancer, one exacerbated by his Christian employers cutting off his health insurance in the midst of his battle.  (Restraining myself from a rant here …)  Nevertheless, the ministry he began to help reform the body of Christ lives on.  His website is still active, with several of his friends and co-conspirators helping to run it and contributing new content.  Two new articles in particular have caught my attention: one on “Our Dangerous God” by Jeff Dunn, and a companion piece titled “Becoming a Dangerous Christian” by Lisa Dye.  Both are definitely worth your time if you’re a Christian and want to grow into maturity in Christ. ( If you’re a Christian and don’t want to grow into maturity in Christ … what is wrong with you?!?)

Also, Michael’s first book, Mere Churchianity, will be released by Random House next month.  (His first, but not necessarily his last — plans are underway for a compilation of some of his essays.  I’ll keep you posted.)  You can check out the details and/or pre-order a copy at I know I’ll be getting one.

Them’s the breaks

8 May 2010

(Blogger’s note: don’t tear up, M. — this has a happy ending …)

I feel a little sad for how dour most of my last several posts have been.  I wish I could give you a lot more sunshine, light and slapstick humor.  Alas, that’s not what I have in supply right now, so I have to make do with what I’ve got.

And what I’ve got right now is that I’m broken.

I think it happened a bit before Easter.  It wasn’t anything in particular, just the effect of all the events of the last year or two exacting their toll, a piece at a time.  It happens.  I’m not sure what broke, or how I would even go about fixing it, but my emotions are on a more consistent low, I’ve been lacking in energy, and it’s been harder to get going on the things I need/want to do.  I’ve dealt with depression before, but this is something different.  And as much as I’ve done my best to keep a-soldiering on, as loath as I’ve been to admit it (even to myself), I really haven’t been the same since whatever snapped, snapped.

Sounds pretty bad, I imagine.  Well, maybe it is.  And then again, maybe not.

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Survival of the faithfullest

3 May 2010

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  (Galatians 6:9)

This verse is not as easy to obey as it sounds, I’ve found.

I’ve mentioned before that people have told me how amazed they are that I’ve been able to stick it out with all that’s happened with my son’s illness.  My stock response is, “Well, it’s not like I really had a choice in the matter.”  To a certain extent, that’s true – I could never really consider walking away from my son, from my family, with a clear conscience.  I have to live with myself, and I couldn’t do that if I’d abandoned them, no matter how much I felt I wasn’t up to the task.

At the same time, though, there are moments where it can be really hard to stay.  I reached one of those moments just last night.
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